The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Along came a guy with big and heavy boots
Who SQUASHED him!!!!
Squashed him DEEEAAAAD!!!
Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go.
“Why don’t we have little lambs?” the other children cried.
“Because my parents love me better.”
And that’s how Mary died.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Doctors were hard to be found, it was true.
So the king's men and horses did the best they could do.
Which was nothing--because horses don't have hands.
(Also, where in the poem does it ever say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Nope. Just some poor guy with cruel parents and bad balance. )
Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe,
And he called for his bowl,
Then ate chips and watched Sponge Bob TV.
Then ate chips and watched Sponge Bob TV.
...He was from Colorado.
Jack Be Nimble
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jumped over the candle stick.
He knocked it down,
And burned the town.
And that was the Great Chicago Fire.
...
Don't play with matches, kids.
There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
The odor was awful, but what could she do?
At least I have walls that stay upright, she thought,
Not like my neighbor next door in the sock.
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